Beat Music Mind (2009)

phone falls off the hook itself
other end screaming asking how it's done with "what's in it?" all...
neck still cranked, mouth dry, shoulder blades burning, legs wasted,
arms hang deadweight, heartbeat shakes body
twisted abdomen mother major markers monitored for monstrous capacity
menstrual mayhem just has to do with the moon- Grinch steals X-mas
then finishes off his roast beef with a taste of wine- furnished nicely
chatting with the schizophrenic children
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onomatopoeia: space, tap, melt
[purple is a smell no doubt]
chief maiden writes final thoughts for God + philanthropy-
millions of years pass before its noon;
there's a moment that lasted centuries,
staring at galaxies that have been watching for star-eternities
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as one pulls together
their most recent contraptions
and sets them loose on his lawn
but its green and bright- 

always
want to go inside early but its
a difficult one to trick- 

downtrodden
by dreams of dismay
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not our truly mixed minds that haven't
changed but perhaps gotten stuck
into ways that will show us how
bottoms-out it can be and with that
inert will behind every set, match
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let's attack (release) when defense down-
but all out gives all protection
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weeks count up to months lasting years
of cut up nonsense that tends to
wither in all its magically intense splendor and glory
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pages of old must be re-written
no matter how lengthy our mistakes- truths come to light
for those who speak unaware of their
own power/ perspective/ insight/ movement
in the universe- the magnitude of
frostflakes melting to the warmth of
un-chillable fingertips
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first-time always remembered
best for everything-
activation- stimulation; sensory overload
step back- take a look:
tea leaf on the handle, detector lights,
footsteps, god crossed out, TV show-
no difference
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beat music mind
bender melter multi-tasker
communicator discoverer locator
pusher-taker decision-of-a-lifetime
no thank you i don't eat lies
light this cigarette numb to the
exercise of peace knowing the
world as a maze to fall into deep...
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get out of hell easier with high spirits,
no more dreary medicine
to weigh down the climb
lift up the burdens one just imagines to say
one can take it all off with a kneel
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time that just disappears with the
switch of a light- fun that lasts
like the feeling of a mystery before its solved-
an answer does not even satisfy when the question is
not understood-
playing in water calls for splashing and getting no more wet
some coffee shifts the balance
to a creativity consisting of oil liners sitting out Arabian seas
desert thieves hide in waves too
masterful sorrow that begs for a tear
wasted in a vat lined with a strangers pocket schemes


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to know how sweet the spring blossoms really are
one must get close enough to smell but not to eat...
tearing a piece into the memory-moment like a scar
there it lies outlined by negativity
invisible still is each bit of positivity
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there's not another capillary
in my eyeballs that could be bulging-
bumping to the critical boom blast sent through the spine
every so often when the rain off your roof pours into a wishing well
dreams pulled-in one by one by a dwarf who compiled
only to the whirling winding stream
of his rocky desire which today
recognized a young prince fit for a maiden,
who could be seen too as beautiful- not by his side-
in the fatal bags of his eyes known well to serpent kings-
worn many by a haunted ninja
barrels sent to the depths to conjure up a toad
the dwarf was happy with the little two liver <SPLIT LIFE>
it lives gladly in a puddle by the great houserock
far away from the rose garden
closer to the patch of scented timothy
and sunflowers that tower unimpeded...
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left lane means for no hurry but well on our way,
if not in on it already someway of
the cybertech jumble mystification to facilitate sexual drive-
reversing inputs for a separate output
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one eye and a red bandana
motorcycle mist and leather-boots
conditional quotes taken out context
for a day-old riddle's clue


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let the sound take you to a place of its own-
no longer sit in the midst of its making but leave it alone
and the line wears out into a phrase of regular speech
until a note by itself in earnest of trust that
it will go on and on and on
just allow for a tiny sliver to slip and it steps
catching up to oneself is hard going
so slow on paper and so diverted in head
collecting perfection while backtracking to fix the happenings
unknown to the casual observer-
those future occurrences that coincident with the present-
now ahead back here
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don't have time to dream lonely limits
to actual choices for responsibility (as it is claimed)
ability to respond in a controlled manner
to claims placed on one by appropriated situation, 'cause
it's all decided in advance,
to be free                      
                                                            or NOT
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it's insisted that nothing gets in the way of death
taking away our freedom
it may be rather enjoyable
because one would not wish for a life of continued pain...
few seeds are planted...
many pathways have been established...
tunnels of love...
that take one into the heart of an uncontrollable lust to be loved
which is quite on the contrary for someone to love my life.
but that cannot appropriately be done in unity
when i am the only fool that loves my life.
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the world is our universe.
the body is our mind.
_______________________________________________
sunday someday-morning
sunday smoke-dew disappears  
sunday study- distance damager
monday shower
birmingham must have been bad.
haters...blowin up hot. blue.
gotta do something bout my own doubts.
the box is no fun.
rather throw it around a bit
BOXKITE
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special moments mentioned at reunion of clans
to see how change has crawled to its corners...
or stands in the middle of the room
with a cough on my toes touching the ceiling
hitting the same old spot of tender hatred
how sad
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it's a story. the intimateness of a girl who gave her heart away
to see how fragile one really can be. cute but daring.
punished and deserving.
loved and serving. well...
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start of a new day
end of an old one
middle of winter
sight of the cold sun
last of ten in a race
never stops- all over again
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when the lizard dies
its cage is emptied
sensations of primordial ecstatic joy
false hope- enjoying an idea more than the present's possibilities
much respect for brothers with humility
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genes give us power to mutate
concentration allows that form to dictate
pernicious defacers venerate
vacuous vehement vernacular
_______________________________________________
never easier has anyone had it then myself
with this wicked and discernèd tongue
inquisitive enough for the dragon of fear
to touch fire to his lips in my presence-
rabbits cower in the darkness of predator's sight
when it goes unanswered...
how am i still up here? in this state of paralysis- analysis-
closer look at the callouses
that every individual has grown accustomed to
in order to form a sensory block
to all that gets people vexed up nowadays in this
neo-government controlled consumer culture
_______________________________________________
some decide that they are their TV sets-
life now stuffed with advertisement commercials,
larry king has an interview with rescue workers
and laughs at their stupid comments
governor of cali has big plans
but can't go anywhere anymore with his movie career
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america sacrifices itself for a neatly swept hole-
men take their time to lower their own feet onto the burial ground,
using cut-up fingers to pull rock and sand
until knees are locked and covered with dirt
flies have waited days to feast on a dying corpse
touched and taken away by decay
birth- death- rebirth
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the most off day is on
the wind blows the door wide open
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decaying flowers
pretty boy rots in hell
pretty girl cries in heaven
scent of rose as one walks past
stemmed trimmed watered
petals curl uptight-
wait for next food order in-line no deal
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time has come to sit back and imagine the ideas
that come to play in the mind
because some thoughts may be trippin
when it comes to playing the game
where you handle the ball,
decide to score in any goal that's open and shot-worthy
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hang out mostly with vegetables
sometimes at a party
just have to cook them up in stock and make a soup!
but the serving plates always arrange a prime number-
only divisible by one and itself
time gets stuck in the places where no corner goes empty in the box
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unconscious and conscious of it
is that right?
not wrong to say a thing unless to fight
there’s no mystery because it’s been solved
all throughout and dissolved
until one sees the question as having the answer
free from answers
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lower the bar and let more
handle a taste of drink for blasting the night away into dawn
clouds hide the gibbous
seeds ready to be a’planted
wet ground; slippery
careful of the mud!
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writer’s journey calls for one to begin underlining and numbering
systemizing- for its an intricate design that does
with no push for an intelligence that is describing…discriminating
no burning old books that hold those questions we ask on school buses
or lunch halls
just bibles… for every man that spews hate in the name of an idol-
or speaks heavenly dreamy things about their idea of God i.e. themselves
But save a page from Revelation- The End- and Genesis- The Beginning
THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY
THIS IS A DARK COUNTRY
If you see that
you know but can’t hardly tell
You can’t tell that you don’t know what it is that you see
If you know what you see but still can’t hardly tell, go to sleep cause’ youz in a jail cell
Don’t ask why- the truth don’t deny it
conscious evolution it’s been decided
unconscious still go divided-
one ever-reaching glow
    one ever-knowing silence
        one ever-expanding-
            seeing-
                moment

day-by-day unplanned- explained
second-by-second seems to be a plan
breath-by-breath cancels all mental plans
you are in control
go ahead
manipulate
un-think
be director
good luck a big audience showed up
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to know the future is just to know the past.
to know the Now is to know no past nor future
but to know the timelessness of “one second” or of “twenty years”

working backwards through time
one must know what they want out of the future
in order to turn the past around…
and to bring the future ahead to now

smoking will make it all go by without a word about it…
keeps in a hurry to get to the next
when the last was important!
tells one to slow down in order to see how fast it all goes by
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at a fine dinner with my mom
I ecstatically remark that the Pepsi in front of me tastes unusually good.
I continue smiling at the pleasure.
I do not look, but feel my mom’s eyes on me…
She picks up the drink to detect if there is any rum…
Of course my smiling can’t be 'cause of me
but it is the Pepsi…
that is the illusion of the material world.
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the books sit there-
read, understood, then finished…
written but when really understood?
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questioning is often all that is needed to give the right answer
a question like “why” is quite natural for it posits into an explanation of circumstances
which surround some kind of being, or reasoning.
Reasoning is a part of life. Some try to reason life itself.
Life has no reason, though life is the reason.
Life is not the reason because it has no reason,
or that reasoning is a part of it-
but life is the reason because reason is not all of life…
ACTION says much more
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stacks and stacks of books are one thing,
piles of clothes= one
the things on my shelf scream SAMSARA
though they too are suffering and cessation of it which make one= one
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particles flying out to infinity
infinity either approaches an ordered system in chaos
or approach a chaotic system going into more and more order.
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19 years old and conscious 1 year
was I always happy?
there must have been many moments:
but somehow I knew that:
[sorrow becomes joy.]
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when the snow melts
mud will turn to dirt
grass will grow in the sunshine
clouds will overcast the august moon
a lion will die with the wind and nightfall
seven lies will become virtuous
ten days will die with memory
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always mesmerized by the memories of first time
meeting Jeff the Dragon (had long dreads at the time)
after playing a “wonderful set”
(as I remember the feelings)
and went out of Spanky’s to enjoy a cig…
Time must have slowed as he walked around the corner
and our eyes met and then the profound
He assured me all was good-
and I remember there was fear of this man
but it was more of UNKNOWN-
or maybe even I felt like I was about to know.
Fear was mixed with the sensation of “freshness”
and “pleasantry”…
I was thinking of what I don’t know…
perhaps that He knew…
HE WHO KNOWS ALL
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one can only feel their own pain,
but only has to see to feel another’s…
same goes for JOY
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the concept of being free from the ‘clockhand’ of time is
UNGRASPABLE by those
who GRASP the concept of time.
                            PARADIGM?
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all of the ways of life do not often satisfy me
for example, my own actions!
one must have all effort of the mind to have stillness.
the body by itself cannot stay still…
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one expects great things in the future
although expectations are aroused by the past,
the greatest thing must be now
old philosophies do not (could not)
predict the level of intellectual abstractions of 2009
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today means one more time as one see the month march by
may be forgetfulness turned around and reinforced-
held up by a staff entwined by a serpent
until the serpent sheds its outer skin
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woke up on March 15th
got in the car
drove around to Sylvan Lake and there’s a house on fire!
goin backwards now
beware of the ides of march!
it might just have enough energy
to straighten your back!
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TAKING A SCIENTIFIC OR RELIGIOUS IDEA AND TRYING TO EXPRESS IT IN
EVERY MODE OF THOUGHT
_______________________________________________
how to raise kids? best education? what do youths seek?
what has all and every generation accumulated their data for?
is a cultural purpose acknowledged?
what does TV do?
do politics affect morals?
WHO’S LISTENING?
I believe that over time men and women have done writing and essays on subjects often to
simply expand upon an understanding of a ‘normal’ idea (or even define words in new terms)…
so that others can come about and CONNECT these various “exposées” to confer on some illusive truths.
An example of this is how an artist may begin an inquiry into a large social convention
to see that there are numerous “parts” that need to be specialized before a “whole” understanding can be achieved.
I feel that in history there have been many proud specialists and relatively few GENERALISTS.
This may involve a high-level analysis in the language sense, the logical sense, and interaction between the two.
Also, visual aspects to understanding and the large role of auditory stimuli in the togetherness
<Neuroscience, Psychology, History, Language, Math, Science, Religion>
Conventional versus Ultimate Truths
What is Truth? (What is Falsehood?)
What I dream of creating is a SIMPLE TEXT using everyday words about the everyday things
just so the young man in Missouri finds simplicity in truth, rather than the Bible…
“God” is too simple….
EXPOUND THE SERIOUS DELUSIONS that face the world
in a tone that doesn’t have to deny the “existing structure,” 

but somehow uses it to extract its “ironic” points
(with tedious counter-arguments…)
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TEARS ARE FOR THE SOUL
AS RAIN MAKE THINGS GROW
SMILES ARE FOR THE PAIN
AS SUN TAKES AWAY THE RAIN
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I think therefore I don’t get anywhere sometimes.
Is marriage inevitable?
Not to be alone maybe-
to die knowing the one beside you best must be virtuous,
but virtuous to let that one die alone?
To get a job for food and shelter is all… one needs.
Are children a necessity?
The scope of consciousness and the future?
Surely I am a part of the process…but can it be viewed in parts?
The body is frail and I cannot hold onto such ideas of being here “very long”
The body must live long by use of the mind-
that my ideas can help one live longer.
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One often says something to the affinity of exhibiting other people’s flaws,
and in doing so manifest the flaws of which oneself had been previously unaware.
Little sleep, but body warmth returns-
the mind capitulates the thought and how it falls down to the pen and page
-falls to time-
one wonders “how could it be this way?” and also “how can I make it be this way?”
often hungry but small appetite
a cigarette (and subsequent thought of life-death) becomes the only worthy meal…
hours turn to days and days into weeks
months go by to anticipate a moment-
a moment that anticipates NOTHING (to do with time)
or anything for that matter
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“I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom.”

- Bob Dylan

“I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of freedom that comes with his responsibility.”

- ME
God bless the harmonica… and the steam engine

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undeveloped photos
memories never come out and no one is watching TV in here but me
and the TV is in my mind
variable lagging in wires knotting up to snot out consciousness
feeding back in loops “about” some indeterminate thing
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just as one hyperventilates and one does not get enough air
when one grasps on impulse
one does not reach out to take
absorbing more
    by releasing first
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there’s no one to see or hear it:
does the tree actually fall in the woods?
Poor Bob didn’t see or hear it, but we haven’t heard from him since
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listen then hear
think then speak
watch then see
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one hears meaning in every little thing…
and see every little thing as somewhat meaningless
watching silently one can often tell things that are out of other’s perception
one always hears what others do not intend to share
the secrets people keep, but do not know of their secrets
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in keeping track of the future
I lost track of now
but only see this as I keep track of the past
mosh-mosh of nonsense and things gone all wrong!
that is all right too
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it appears six months went by without noticing much
with nothing really to do one gets focused on everything all at once
and no single necessary act is accomplished! ugh…
NOW must become THEN, for THEN to ALWAYS BE
relax and go slow
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the tears will heal wounds
but will not stop one from getting hurt
sleep will cure wakefulness
but will not prevent one from getting tired
a thought will help the mind
but not very able to think out the condition
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say “no” to the evil, say “yes” to the well-being= too simple?
everyone wants people to assist their needs…
but people don’t assist when their needs won’t be met…
MAKE ASSISTANCE OF OTHERS= TOP PRIORITY
ALL PEOPLE= NEED COMPASSION (a “direction” to go)

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no “mind” can be “found” in the brain, though the brain incorporates MIND
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The Brahmagupta is the earliest known text to treat zero as a number!
The People of God know nothing!
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lonely people all get together to be themselves…
holding on to one’s own body
holding onto a lover’s body
to die holding onto death
GOODNESS
when the matter is pure the mind is pure
when the mind is pure, the body is pure
when the body is pure, all things are pure.
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tears burning in my soul
fears learning to be so…
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one sees a notebook
flipping the blank pages in solitude
contemplating the purity…
weeks go by and words fill up the empty space
making the whole process emptier
seeing the time and flow and imperfections